Make Friends LIKE A BOSS!

This is written for students who are struggling to make friends at church:

Imagine what it would look like if you walked into church and you hardly got through the door before being greeted by several of your friends! They are so excited to see you. They’ve been waiting for you and can’t wait to catch up. What you guys have is an incredible sense of connection and community. Getting up for church is not a problem on Sunday mornings, in fact, time at church is literally the highlight of your week. You want to go early and you want to stay late. Everything is going your direction. You have all the friends you want, and then some… What does it take to get there?? How do you get noticed? Where do you start to get comfortable with the other students around you? How do you make friends like a BOSS???

That’s what I hope to share with you right now.

I want you to really think about what you honestly want to hope and dream for with your friendships. NOT what they are (or aren’t) right now. What your friendships could be… 

Write down some answers to the following questions.

If everything was perfect:

What would it look like to be seen and included by your peers?  

What would let you know that you matter to someone(s) as a friend?

How often would you want to text or hangout in a typical week?

When it’s all perfect and you walk through the doors of the church or classroom, why is it such a relief to have friends that you’re connected to and in community with?

I’m asking these questions, because you need to know what you want out of your situation. Even better, it’s good to know everything you could dream for, if you knew that failure was not an option. 

Ok, yes reality check. We all fail sometimes. Sometimes, things just don’t go our way… But please don’t create limitations for yourself that don’t need to be there. Because the fact is that sometimes we sell ourselves short, when the fact is, that we don’t have to. 

There are moments when things WILL go your way, if you try. 

We can all be tempted to tell ourselves that there’s no way our dreams can happen. You might say; “I can’t make friends here!” Or you might feel like, “I’m not worthy of being [that person’s] friend.” We tend to look for evidence of what we tell ourselves is true. So, by doubting ourselves and others, we limit what is possible in the moment.  

Your dream of having friends at church can happen! Don’t believe me? 

Let me ask you a question: If someone else was placed in your situation with all of the disadvantages that you see, would it be possible for them to get a different outcome? 

The answer is Yes they could. But, how??

Put yourself in their shoes...

What kinds of things would they be doing to get a different result?

Would they try different things than you’re trying right now?  

Would it be easier for them? 

Let me give you some choices that person would probably make as they get well on their way to making friends like a boss.

#1. They show up. And they keep showing up. Every time they possibly can.

#2. They are willing to be friendly to others by smiling and engaging with the situation.

#3. They ask questions and show interest in getting to know people.

#4. They are friendly, but not needy. They won’t latch on like a leech to the first victim, they seek to find positive common ground and don’t need to rush things. Friendship takes time. 

Bottom Line: If someone else could make friends, then So Can You. So, prayerfully and considerately, just make up your mind on the type of friends you want to have in your life, and go do it! 

I promise you, it will be worth it.